I'm a Mason!!

Okay okay, as excited as I am to post about my wedding I'm going to hold off until my pictures are ready.
Until then, I'm going to write all about my incredibly interesting wedding night.
...Well, not all the details...
So, Ken and I stayed at a B&B for our wedding night. We were convinced that it may just be our first and only night as a married couple. It was one of the oddest and most uncomfortable experiences in my life, but has made for a very funny story. Here's just a small taste of our adventure. There is so much more to it so feel free to ask for details.My mom was kind enough to book us a B&B for our wedding night... It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Turns out she booked us the most bonkers bed and breakfast of all time. That's right, and B&B&B....This was our first impression. A horse/Pegasus/dog looking creature welcoming us...
This was our bedroom...Complete with your very own stuffed dolphin on the night stand.
The only thing that would've made it better would've been if the bed had a coin slot where I could put quarters in that would make the bed vibrate.

We were also treated to the most decadent of chocolates - Misty Mints.

The owner repeatidly INSISTED that we could make as much noise as we wanted. "Nobody can hear you scream." Which was especially frightening due to the amount of axes, pitchforks, and seemingly mass grave in the backyard.

We were quite pleased to see that the room came with a TV as well as a handmade clock. This clock was made with pearls, doilies, and fake flowers. It is purely for aesthetics. It doesn't actually work at all.

There was a fine selection of VHS tapes. Everything from The Bible to Ace Ventura-When Nature Calls!

This was the common area. The modern lamp really pulls the room together.

And my favorite part of the entire experience...
The artwork. Upon entering the owner pointed to this painting and said "Yes. I paint. This is a social commentary on marriage and how it can be very abusive. See all the opposites?...Ya.. My first two marriages were VERY abusive....This one's...all right...."

Other entertaining parts:
  • In the morning as we ate breakfast the owner repeatidly offered to give me painting lessons.
  • She complained about how hard it is to write a book. "I'm writing 3 books...at the same time...And I just can't decide if I should write them so they can be put into a movie. It's really hard."
  • There was actually veery delicious jam on the breakfast table that was in an old salsa jar. Ken jokingly asked me to "pass the salsa". She then bolted into the kitchen saying "It's not salsa!"
...There was soo so much more, but I've blocked almost all things from my memory at this point.
It was insane, but totally worth the story.